theadventuresofoliversykes:

I just need somebody to stay in bed With me and play video games and watch Disney films.. Just for a few days

(Thursday Morning)
4/25/13

11:14a.

I need more light.

I awoke today with an immediate knowing that I couldn’t, and wouldn’t report for work today. I laid awake for five minutes before sending a text of half truths to those in charge. No question, no worry in my tone. Only declaration: “I won’t be making it into work today.” Something felt everyday for year when waking for work -typical of an unfulfilled twenty-something trapped in a mouse wheel doubling as a clock, but today was definite.
Later, during coffee and as I was making my way into a book there were two knocks on the door. My first thought was work tracking me down -which unfortunately was not unheard for me (memories of a co-worker sent by management rapping at my bedroom window before the sun had yet risen replayed) this thought quickly vanished however as I heard the muffled sound of a diesel engine pulling away. Delivery.
Surprised to see my name as the recipient, I brought the package inside. I had checked yesterday and the only package I was awaiting wasn’t listed due until early next week.
I slid a razor blade through the tape and pulled open the box. Inside, the expected item, early.
A leather luggage set I had ordered on a whim in anticipation of my dreamed adventures compressed tightly with each piece nested inside a larger mate had made for a deceptively small box. A Matryoshka sign from the Universe.
I would find it incredibly ignorant to overlook such a clear set of symbols: after finally acting on a feeling felt daily for 13 months, an item holding pieces of a future I’m trying to build should arrive early. I do my best to keep an open mind on everything that comes my way, never missing the negative. So why turn a blind eye when surprised by something positive?

21 years old.
11:35a.

(Sunday Evening)
4/7/2013

8:58p.

There’s a scary point in your thinking when years have passed and you’re still comparing your entire world and everyone you meet to one person.

It’s easy to question yourself and it rips at your thoughts: Did I fuck up too much?

9:00p.

21 years old.