I don’t think I’m taking advantage of being young. I need to do more. Or of even being alive for that matter. I talk and dream so much that I plan my time away.

          “Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?”

     Cheesy, but sums it up well. May just be the impending nature of the coming work week, but I’ll never be content with an average life.
I want to hop in my car with my friends and a duffle bag full of clothes and just drive. A few things we’re after in particular, but not really. 
A handful of disposable cameras and just forget about the instant gratification of modern means and sharing. Just going and doing. 
     We spend so much time telling ourselves and everyone else that we can’t, wasting time being scared. And at the end of it all, all we’ve gained is regret. Trapped so tightly in this structure laid out and forced upon us; that once we’re through with school, it’s either more school, the military, or you start the nine to five. And that’s it. Those are your options. 
     For some people, that’s fantastic and perfect. It’s what they dream of, but I’ve never been able to. I almost feel cheated not to be able to find that happiness and contentedness. I’m always wanting more. 
Unfortunately, I’m still scared. 
     It’s been so engrained in my head and all our heads that we find something halfway decent, put our heads down and trudge through. Regardless of whether or not it makes us happy. Either because of money, or that’s it comfortable, something we’re used to. 
I know a lot of it’s attitude, but I’m not about to tell myself I should be happy not doing things I love, or that it’s temporary and better things are coming. Because the only better things coming are those you work for and bring to yourself. No one is going to make anything happen for you. 
I’m stubborn. And I think a small amount of stubbornness can help push you to where you might like to be. A bit of structure that won’t let you settle for anything less than everything you’re after.
     The people who are really successful, mentally and monetarily are those who were uncomfortable with their surroundings and the idea of living a life not in accordance with their own plans. 
So they changed it. 
They got up and they made changes in their path, they changed their day to day and created new surroundings for themselves. 
     You don’t have to know exactly what you want or where you want be to get there, just do things differently. Do the things you want to do and happiness will find you. 
     I always find myself thinking that I’d rather do what I love for free rather than hating it for a paycheck. 
It could be cliché, but it couldn’t be any more true.